The month of May has come to mark many threshold steps in my life. Growing up May was full of happiness and celebration. It’s my birthday month and always marked the end of the school year.
In my twenties May meant the start of beach house season. Many a relationship would make or break as we crammed 15 friends each summer weekend into a Bethany beach cottage for sun by day and Dewey craziness by night.
Somehow Jason and I emerged from the wacky beach days to now celebrate a May wedding anniversary and Mother’s Day.
So much abundance, yet the nucleus of my May reflections now square on May 26, 2013, the day my dad died. I recall passing May 2014 in a fog, and last year I was depressed and mad much of the month. How could I celebrate the joys of this month when I knew it was going to end with such sadness of loss?
This year, the third anniversary of his passing, I’m different. Dad is still top of my mind and tears will cross my cheeks plenty this month, but I have let go of the anger and am making way for the good stuff.
There was this ridiculous moment last Saturday when Jason and I were out celebrating our wedding anniversary. We stuffed ourselves with sushi and double dessert (bread pudding and peanut butter pie) then walked through the city enjoying the rare moment for just us two out of the house. And then as we made our way home I ate a bug. It flew right into my mouth. At first I coughed, then choked, and finally full on puked on the sidewalk. It was not pretty. I made it home, quickly chugged a full glass of water, put on my pjs and laughed at the whole thing.
It’s just like me to turn an endearing moment into something awkward. A good reminder that there is no perfect moment and that the good stuff in life is built by experiencing the highs and the lows. May puts it all in a spotlight and this turn around the sun, as I grow our new baby girl from within, I’m delighted for the ride.