All you can do blog

On the daily....all you can do is what you can do. - Betsy Poos

The Emotional Second Pregnancy

According to my Baby Bump app I have 90 more days with this pregnancy.  I stopped running a few weeks ago and haven’t been to my boot camp class in a month.  I’ve replaced both with a bit more walking and yoga, but mostly I resigned to doing less physical exercise.  I heard myself telling friends it was all getting too hard and it just wasn’t worth it.


News flash to self.  It is worth it!  Here in lays my promise to get back on the bandwagon.  I need to change my workouts, not stop them.  I workout not necessarily because I like it, but because it makes my life better.  Workout endorphins, just like pregnancy hormones, are no joke and I need more of the good stuff. 


From the outside looking in this pregnancy has been easier than my first, but I’m still an emotional work in progress.  This go round I picked up a load of body image stress.  With Stella, Jason and I happily documented my growing bump in pictures week after week.  I was simply stunned with the process.  I struggled with morning sickness throughout and troublesome rib and sacral pain as baby grew, and yet I felt constantly happy and honored to carry this new life. 


This time has been different.  I’ve felt somewhat ashamed of the growing bump.  I know the shame is not rational.  I know that I am honored to carry a new life into our spinning world once again.  In the last couple of weeks I’ve posted a few pregnancy pictures on social media, working hard to show the emotional me that this shame is useless. 


Maybe this is too much of my sleepless night talking, but it just feels hard.  It’s not always the roses and daises.  But I'm working on it.  For the next 90 days I will nourish my body through good, appropriate exercise and clean eating.  I will nourish my mind by being real about my emotions and creating more positive self-talk.  I will nourish my soul through good books and meditation. 


My yoga practice has provided me with such wonderful tools for the journey of pregnancy (and life).  I just need to pull them out and use them even more often now.  Time to google “home pregnancy workouts. “