All you can do blog

On the daily....all you can do is what you can do. - Betsy Poos

From Solstice to Equinox

On December 20th last year Alyson quite casually mentioned she planned to document her daily yoga practice on Realignment Studio's instagram for the 89 days between winter solstice and spring equinox.  I was like o that’s cool.  Good luck.  And then she asked if I’d do it with her. 

I said yes.  But it was a yes with my fingers crossed behind my back.  I wasn’t one hundred percent committed, but I thought I’d try.  And so we began just a few days before Christmas…you know that time of year when holidays throw everything off routine!

Those first few weeks I really had to search out my calendar for ways to get my practice in.  I sometimes felt stressed wondering when I’d practice, but other days it was a fun game finding the space.  Within a few weeks I was fully committed to completing the challenge and I found a peace in letting my yoga practice take whatever shape I needed or wanted that day.

Over the 89 days I made it into the studio for a led practice only a handful of times.  I generally teach 6 classes a week and fitting in another time away from family during class times is hard.  I will pop in early or stay a bit after I teach if there aren’t surrounding classes to have a private practice space.  I love when things work out that way. 

Usually I’m at home for practice and my average home practice is about 20 minutes in length.  My yoga practice is often crowded with one or two kids, our dog, and sometimes my husband passing through.  I can not tell you the number of ways in which this drove me absolutely bonkers for years.  I held so tight in fact to yoga being a sacred, inward practice that my personal practice became pretty non-existent.  Waiting for the perfect time to practice never comes.

After our second daughter was born a lot in me flipped and I started embracing yoga with my family around.  Well it was way bigger than that.  It took having two kiddos for me to really embrace and settle into motherhood.  But today being a yoga mom is how I most want to identify.  And practicing amongst family is the way I want to practice.  I usually choose to practice downstairs even when I could find solitude upstairs in our home. 

Just prior to beginning this daily yoga practice challenge I resigned my daytime position.  Our childcare dynamic had shifted and I needed to be home day in and day out with our daughters.  My main job now is primary caretaker.  The stay at home mom (sahm) variety with long hours and zero pay.

Everyone I talk to wants to qualify my shift.  They will tell me I’m not a sahm because I’m a small business owner (yes I remember) or they will tell me not to worry because I can go back to work soon when Luna is in school.

The thing is, I don’t want to qualify my decision.  I don’t have to explain or caveat this choice.  Our daily yoga practice challenge gave me the space to process and to enjoy being a stay at home mom.  I want to show up as mom first and last every single day.  I embrace that entwined with that I’m a partner in a yoga studio and yoga teacher.

I am not doing it all.  I don’t want to.  I am doing the right things right now.  And I plan to keep up my daily yoga practice to churn now from spring equinox to summer solstice.