The Isolation Journals - Day 100
I’ve reached the end of The Isolation Journals project. Day 100. I joined this project on a whim. One of my favorite artists, Maggie Rogers, had posted about it on social media. At the time it was a one-month endeavor to keep the creative mind active during quarantine. Suleika Jaouad is the creator. Each morning for the past 100 days I woke up with an email from Suleika in conversation with someone that had touched her life. That person would then more directly address a story and writing prompt for the day. I’ve loved taking part in this project.
As quarantine continued, so did the prompts. The community of journalers grew to almost 100,000 across the globe. I’ve been an avid journaler for as long as I can remember. It is an important piece of my life and knowing that so many people were doing the same thing, though in our 100,000 unique ways has inspired me each day as I write.
I have sat with every single prompt. I have written about 90 of the entries. There were a few that just didn’t land or a topic I wasn’t ready for that day and I’d free write instead. And I didn’t always write daily, though mostly I did. Earlier this week I’d let the days slip by and then I took more than an hour in one sitting to write six journals.
Today we reach 100, the completion of the project (though Suleika promises to keep the group going with weekly ongoing prompts)! Today’s prompt asks me to look at my emotional palette, to name each color. It asks to examine the hues and the shades as they change throughout the course of a day.
I am a sensitive soul. My colors bleed all over the place with my tears a lot. I’ve learned over my lifetime how to lessen the intensity of my emotions a bit, how to shade and sometimes lessen the vibrancy of my palette in the course of a day. That may sound a little sad at first, but it’s an important balance for my well being. I recognize that ebbs and flows of emotional intensity are not only necessary, but also good.
I am a true introvert and enjoy a subdued palette of cool blues and greens and pastel yellows and pinks during most of the day. I need that for balance and security. I keep my head down and lean into quiet, kindness and simplicity in these hours. I’m parenting my young daughters all day and this palette works best.
Right now there is so, so much inner and outer turmoil in my life that bring out the primal fire of red and orange. I wake up each morning practically on fire with these colors. I’ve embarked on a separate 100-day challenge exactly to match these bright emotional colors with movement and sweat. I’m currently on day 28 of the morning meltdown 100 and the program has helped me immensely to funnel my fire into productive action and mindset. I can’t wait to wake up each morning and tackle the fire.
In the evenings, my creative mind has the opportunity to surge. I start with a clear white canvas. I notice each night I usually have just one color on my palette though. Depending on the day it could be a deep blue symbolizing intellect, a magnificent purple of divine flow, or total icky stinky grey matter. And I don’t mean the pretty, clean grey of the accent wall in your home. I mean the grey of despair and depression (no sugar coating that). The better I match my color profiles during the morning and afternoon, the more likely I get to put the blue or the purple on the paint brush and work my magic. Every day is a blank canvas and I continue to do my best to paint with primary red and orange in the morning and cool pastels during the day so that I can be creative me in the evenings.
Over the course of the isolation journals, I re-learned much. I learned more about my tendencies, my triggers and my sensitivities. I learned how I want to show up in this world. I’m more motivated than ever to show up for others and myself through mindful movement, human rights advocacy, and creative exploration. It’s been a great journey and one that will continue. Thank you to Suleika and the Isolation Journals team. I’ve already pre-ordered your book Between Two Kingdoms and can’t wait to read it in February.
PS – When I started the isolation journals project I decided to throw away each journal as soon as I’d written it. I used a tear away notepad and into the trash it went as soon as I put my pen down. It made me write the truest for each and everyday and I its made me braver to dream big and bigger, to get that blank white canvas space each evening and have the juices to do more than just paint grey. I recommend it, the throwing away, even though I’m a little sad I can’t look back at all the words I put to paper now. Surely I wrote my first memoir in the past 100 days. I guess I’ll have to keep the pages and write an actual book to publish next!